Paul writes to the Philippians, chapter 4 verse 5, the following: “let your gentleness be known to all men...”. How would you explain gentleness? The Oxford Dictionary defines it as “the quality of being kind, tender, or mild-mannered”. In his letter, Paul uses the Greek word epieikeia. Given that it is a particularly difficult one to translate, we find many different translations of this word, like “patience, softness, reasonableness…”. While all these words are somewhat connected, they are also different enough to reveal the translator’s struggle.

In his commentary, William Barclay helps us clarify what Paul meant. He writes the following: “Epieikeia is the quality of a man who knows that regulation are not the last word and knows when not to apply the letter of the law… The Christian, as Paul sees it, is the man who knows that there is something beyond justice. When the woman taken in adultery was brought before him, Jesus could have applied the letter of the Law according to which she should have been stoned to death; but he went beyond justice. As far as justice goes, there is not one of us who deserves anything other than the condemnation of God, but he goes far beyond justice. Paul lays it down that the mark of a Christian in his personal relationships with his fellow-men must be that he knows when to insist on justice and when to remember that there is something beyond justice.” Fascinating! This gentleness has nothing to do with not being masculine or with a lack of character or nerve and everything to do with understanding what God actually wants from you and me. And what is that? “To act justly, and to love mercy and to walk humbly with your God” (Micah 6:8). Justice and mercy holding hands. Humbly remembering that the only reason any of us are in good standing with God is because of his mercy for us. This gentleness doesn’t sacrifice justice, it puts it in He who “so loved the world”. But Paul doesn’t stop here. He gives us a reason why we should be gentle: “...the Lord is at hand” (Philippians 4:5b). Because we are looking forward to the second advent, our relationships are heavily influenced by a desire to have as big of a crowd as possible around us to welcome Jesus. And you know what? People like people who are like Jesus. Gentle. Justice soaked in love, a love that seeks the ultimate good of the offender. The offender, by the way, is you and me and the person near you. All of us.

I’ve been thinking a lot about gentleness. Why? Because I realized my gentleness wasn’t, as Paul said it should, “known to all men”. Simply put, I was not the gentle person I should be. I don’t always have the ultimate good of the person in mind, my love is often soiled with selfishness, my justice with vengeance and retribution. If time is short, then I need to have epieikeia. I need to relate to those around me as Jesus related to the multitude screaming for his execution, or as He still relates to me. Why? Because, according to Paul, when the Gospel is flavored with gentleness, it tastes exactly the way it should be. And I don’t know about you, but I want to do what God invites me to do so that the Gospel may taste unbelievably delicious and nutritious to my wife, my children, my family and friends, my church and my community at large.

So, how about you and me try to be gentle from now on?